he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
