I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
