how can u be prego again
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize