Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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