Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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