Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
