kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize