I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
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