I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
