just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
