I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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