I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
