Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize