did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
my liver is dry heaving
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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