you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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