he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
