laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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