we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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