3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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