ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
