so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize