"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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