wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
