how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
