thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
