I am puke
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
