just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
