I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
