you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
