need another drink. this is the easiest way
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
