I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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