In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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