It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
