The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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