don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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