i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My cat gives me a boner
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
