we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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