GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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