I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
