chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
