Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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