I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
