Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
