I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
