no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
