PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize