You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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