is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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