Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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