It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
