dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
