you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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