apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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