definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
