fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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