omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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