This show inspires me to have sex in space
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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