Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
