Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
