i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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